Phyrexian Splicer (and an introduction)

This is The Weekly Fondle. Each week this blog will highlight a Magic: the Gathering card. That's it, pretty much. I will either pick a favorite card, a powerful card, a popular card, or a random card (if need be) and write about it. Well, I'll write about it after I fondle it (think Data and Picard touching the Phoenix in First Contact, my wife might even walk in on me and throw out Troi's line).

This weeks fondle is, as the title so aptly indicates, the Phrexian Splicer. Ah, the nice cardstock of the Carta Mundi days. Feel the rounded edges of the card. Contrast it to the sharp pain of the subject of the art. This, my friends, was some Magic card.

Phrexian Splicer only really matters in a world of creatures. That world can be found very easily at the kitchen table games I am so fond of. Better, still, it can be found today in several formats. For a while there, competitive Magic cared very little for having critters duke it out. That is less the case these days. Creatures are beautiful, lovely things with all manner of interesting abilities. Why not steal some. That's right. Phyrexian Splicer steals abilities. Four abilities, actually. Well, actually your choice of one of four abilities - Flying, Trample, First Strike, and Shadow. It removes it from one creature and gives it to another. How cool is that?

Splicers are great answers to big finisher creatures in Multiplayer games. Let's think of a few of them. Akroma? Lose that trample and get stopped kold by a Birds of Paradise speedbump! Or better yet, a trampling Fog Bank! That's irony for ya! All the other Angels aren't so hot when they have to contend with a flying Wall of Roots or Beloved Chaplain - No miss Angel, do not mess with the Beloved Chaplain when he takes your wings for a short trip around thudville. Dragons - same thing. Much less scary when they no-fly.

Finally, that splicer can get your big finisher through. It makes a hole in your opponent's defenses big enough for Optimus Prime to drive through. Make that a flying (or trampling, or shadowy) Optimus Prime. First Strike can come in handy too, sometimes. As if I had to tell you all that.

Thanks for reading. Now go fondle your own Splicer!